Pesky brain, pesky complex, pesky meddling kids

Well forget the meddling kids but I have a severe problem trying to switch off recently. My brain just keeps going round in circles with random crap to be honest. Paranoia sets in, do they like me? What have I done? Would I really be missed? What's happening now? Why aren't they talking to me? Etc etc
For some reason my whole security side of life seems to be flushing down the pan to coin a phrase. Maybe its the 9 years of singledom catching up on me. Maybe I have delusions of grandure or maybe I'm just a total fruit cake!! Personally I prefer the later as you can get away with more. My whole attitude has been going up and down like 'a whores drawers' and I am really REALLY looking forward to my holiday in September.
If you read this and it doesn't make sense, I've never blogged on an IPhone before. If you read this and think I'm on a downer, I'm not I'm trying to clear my head. And if you read this at all.. Thank you!!

But I want one!

So, here's me, sitting in the office on the own with no one around.  Everyone has disappeared to a Skip Level meeting with a director and, as I report elsewhere I am left here for an hour.  Oh the trouble I could cause in an hour :)

I feel that I need a new toy in my life, which is terrible and somewhat envious of friends around me.  Toys I certainly don't need but, when friends around you have Imacs, Ipads and Tablets my inner child shouts, 'I want one'.  It is becoming a lot harder for older Iain to step in and say 'No... You don't!' I feel like it is a time in my life to start getting rid of my 'junk' and no any American readers, I do mean something else!  I mean for gawd sake I have only just got rid of my Nintendo 64.   Saying that my poor Xbox 360 seems to be careering towards the red ring of death and has started to freeze whilst trying to decapitate a zombie playing card.  You gotta love a tormented, demented Alice in Wonderland game.



Saying about getting rid of all my unused/wanted stuff I've found out that IKEA have a 75% sale off.  Oh how terribly annoying that it is only on till this weekend. To think how much kitchen gadgets I could buy.  I do like my gadgets.

Still save the money till at least September when I go to visit the lovely Greg in Estonia with Mand.... Who knows what I can buy at duty free ;-)

The diet and EA Fitness has to start now

I can't hold it off for any longer. Due to injuring my knee it has been 4 weeks since I have been able to do any exercise that requires standing up or kneeling (not that kind of exercise, you naughty person).  I tried to use the Kinect fitness and got told off as I couldn't keep up with her squats.  Of course I can't you silly bitch i can't bend my leg.  But after viewing this delightful piece of manstuff on my Facebook (no i don't know him but I wish I did) I am restarting the diet and exercise post haste.

So, back onto Fitness Pal to track all foodstuffs and EA Connect Sports for the exercise.  One step at a time.  After my hospital appointment on Thursday I shall hopefully be able to start walking back into and home from work.

I really need to learn to read things properly sometimes!!

So it is 23.30 here and I am in work.  I agreed to do a Graveyard shift from 9pm through to 7am the following day to allow me to attend an international manager's call at midnight.  Due to upgrading to a new email service I failed to notice that the call was in fact midnight yesterday and not today.  So here am I, in the office, in the dark with copious amounts of caffiene and Accru radio for company thinking about my stupidity.  Still, get to speak to my colleagues in Australia if they ever come on line.  Makes them sound more like a super computer coming 'on line' which believe me.. They so are not!

I really want to be at home playing with my wireless blu ray player.. Oh wait, I have no Blu Ray discs as yet, still I can stream my PC through it to my HD TV so that is a bonus.  That is, if I survive tonight.  I am not sure what exactly is occuring in the floor above me at the moment as there is a lot of scraping and banging as if something is trying to break through.  Oh wait! I am on the top floor, there is nothing above me.

So I have technically 4 days off after today which is good as it gives me time to 'deep clean' the flat as my parents arrive on Monday for a week.  But first I must get tonight out the way. I have the new episode of cobwebs to listen to and really wish I had brought in a Doctor Who DVD to watch.  Still I can probably watch them on You Tube as it seems to have accidentally been unlocked at work. I may even watch episode 2 off Babelcolours Ten Doctors.

But here is Episode 1 incase you haven't seen it


Will update this later, if I survive Saturday's Rapture!

Me 

Musing, thoughts and contemplation of the navel

I am taking a break from the 64 Question Blog Challenge.  Around 24 left to do which I could probably do in one hit so I thought for a change I would do something about me.. Yes I know the Blog challenge was about me but this is mainly how I am feeling.

Facebook
I have deactivated my account for a short period of time.  I will probably reactive once Who has completed its first segment but I was tired of people either slagging it off or posting spoilers everywhere I looked.  I want to enjoy the program as I always have, and get there in my own time.  It's nice to see people having an interest in our little program however, it really doesn't need to be ripped apart to the smallest atom and then reconstructed in 'fan terms'.

The other reason I came off Fartbook is sometimes I really don't see the point of it.  You update a status message with what you did for that day and someone comments back with 'ooooo'.  Well that's if they comment back at all, I could honestly say that I could whittle down my friends list to a good 6 or 7 and that would be the extent of people that comment or update my status.  Still thats the price to pay for leading the life of a hermit.. not always by choice I may add.  It is funny how some people don't actually message you unless they actually want something.  There can't be a lot needing doing.. It's been a quiet month!!

Life work Balance...Pah!!!
This really REALLY makes me laugh.  It seems to be a motto at work that you need to ensure your Work life and Personal life is well balanced.  In the words of a certain Grandmother..."What a load of old shit...!"  My personal life currently involves lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling, without the TV or ITunes being on.  Just silence, dark and me.  I enjoy playing Xbox with people online and try to do this as much as I can as occasionally it is the only 'human contact' I have.  There have been weekends I haven't said anything to anyone all weekend, I can't actually speak on a Tuesday when I go back to work.. And people wonder why I am softly spoken.  Years of being told you're wrong backs up that theory ;-)
I have recently started going on Ghost hunts with one of my best friends and I absolutely adore this.  It is something that has always intrigued me and just the feeling of what is going to happen and if it does, what was it.  I could go on them everyday if I could but alas, it could be very costly subject.
I also used to 'well, twice' fill in for someone on a podcast.  This actually was an extremely happy time for me as they talked about a subject I knew about, and could give my views on.  It also gave a feeling of 'want' and being part of a family.  It was nice and had a warm fuzzy feel about it.  I know some people who still do said podcast would disagree.

So yes, bit of a whoa is me blog, but I don't care.  It's about me, this is how I feel.. If that offends you then I apologise but everyone is entitled to a bad day, week, month.  PolybloodyAnna I am not!!

BLOG CHALLENGES FORTY ONE THROUGH FIFTY

I think today I will do my next 10 Blog Entries with in picture format.  The say pictures are supposed to worth a 1000 words.


41. Your idea of the perfect first date. 

Ideal first date, wouldn't care if didn't make it to second date (Shallowness coming out)

Otherwise a nice cup of coffee with someone is a good place to start

42. An animal you’d love to keep as a pet.

43. The item you last purchased.  (OK this was a double purchase on the same day)

44. Y our favorite place to eat. 

45. A TV show you’re currently addicted to. 

I could put Doctor Who here but I am always addicted to that not just currently

46. Your celebrity crush.  (The Evan's Brothers)

47. Something you crave a lot. 

48. A letter to someone who has hurt you recently. 

Just 2 letters

49. A photo of something that means a lot to you. 

50. How have you changed since last year. 

HAHA I wish...

BLOG CHALLENGES THIRTY ONE THROUGH FORTY

31. A hobby of yours

I quite like cooking and experimenting with flavours in the kitchen.  Might have something to do with the 109 odd recipes books I have.  I have developed a 'need' for picking up a new cookery book from where ever I go on holiday.  I quite like the North Carolina cook book but not so sure on the 'Viking' Cookbook.

32. A recipe 


A lot of the time I don't tend to follow recipes unless I am baking.  The prementioned books are normally used as inspiration and a base.  But never the less, all hail Nigella.  This is definately my favourite brownie recipe.


Best Chocoloate Brownies ever.. And they are flourless

33. A website


Linking back to the above there are 2 websites I use all the time:


http://www.nigella.com/
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/gayspy/blog/gayspy/


34. A YouTube video 

Was pointed to this today.  It's sooooo sweet 




35. Your day, in great detail 
I thought I would do this one today as it is so easy.  Got up, drank coffee, went for walk for 30 mins, played on xbox for an hour, went back to sleep for 2 hours, got up ... wrote this :)

36. Your week, in great detail 

Got up, went to work came home went to bed, got up, went to work, came home, went to bed.  Repeat as necessary

37. This month, in great detail


Seriously!

38. This year, in great detail


See above!!

39. Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days 





Get a man, keep a man! Not get stroppy when people don't talk to me!

40. Something you ate today. 


Sunflower and Pumpkin Seeds

BLOG CHALLENGES TWENTY FOUR THROUGH THIRTY

Nearly half way through.  Getting to the point I feel like doing a line per question (If that)

So onwards and upwards with the next 7

24. Your favorite song
Whispering your name by Alison Moyet.  I quite like this version featuring Dawn French





25. Your favorite book
My Favorite book of all time is Charles Dickens The Christmas Carol.  I love that book in any variety and have all versions ranging from novel, cartoon, musical and Alistair Sims.

26. Your favorite quote
One that I keep using is one from Doctor Who of all places.  The Rani advising the Tetrap to "Leave the Girl, it's the man I want!"

27. A photo that makes you angry/sad

This photo says angry and sad in one for me.



28. A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

Nope this makes me cry everytime.  Most of Les Miserable does, despair, pain and death. Leads onto the song.  The death of Fantine (Come to me).  Updating this at work not the best idea as tears are trying to break out as I check to make sure the video works.




29. An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
I have 2 'statues' that I love.  Both Greek design, 1 destroyed, the other in Nashvilee  Tennessee.  There is lot of question if the Colosus of Rhodes actually existed due to the actual size of it.  if it didn't exist then its a great drawing ;)

Colossus of Rhodes

Temple of Athena in Nashville

30. A talent of yours
I'm quite good at spotting a goodlooking guy at 100 paces but since I lent my gaydar out to someone in 2001 I can never tell a straight man from a gay one anymore. I can find my way around a computer, take it apart and put it back together. Does that count/

Anyway, enough updates today me thinks.  Till tomorrow

BLOG CHALLENGES FOURTEEN THROUGH TWENTY THREE

OK I think enough time has passed since the bank holiday weekend in the UK and me catching up with my good friends from Estonia, Bognor and Mildenhall.  As I have a lot to cover off to 'bring me back up to speed' a lot of these reponses will be on sentance answers!

14. Favourite Place to Eat
I really like eating out but don't do it very often.  It does sometimes feel rather uncomfortable table for one and a good book.  When I went to India, they gave me a Goldfish to keep me company.  He was named Fred!  Anyway, favourtie place to eat currently is possible a little Mongolian BBQ place called Ghengis Khans.  Its a 'make up your own dishes' and they will cook it infront of you.  I like eating as much as you like of what you like for a reasonable price.  The chocoloate fondue with Honeycomb (Cinder toffee) and Turkish delight is rather nice as well!

15. Something you miss
As sad as this sounds and it is not an awww plea, I rather miss my friends, conversation and company.  Many a time I am found on chat sites talking away to people.  It's not that I want to get into their pants, more the fact I like company.

16. Nicknames
I have recently aquired the nickname Bubo. (That annoying owl from Clash of the Titans)  Hopefully the name is not relating to the annoying part ,but more to the point that I can seek out a good looking guy at a distance while swiveling my head in a 270 degree angle. I suppose I also make a sort of ooooowwww noise as I do it.

17. Favourite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?

I don't really have a favourite picture ALL TIME of myself.  a) because I'm not photogenic and b) I hate having my picture taken

18. Something you've learned
Something I have recently learned, at a cost,is do not rely too heavily on other people, or become too attached.  They will only let you down in the end.

19. Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

1. Bohemian Rapsody - Queen
2. Winner takes it All - Abba
3. Whispering your name - Alison Moyet
4. Abigail's Song - Katherine Jenkins (Doctor Who)
5. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
6. The Batman Theme - Danny Elfman
7. Black and Gold - Sam Sparro
8. Defying Gravity - Wicked
9. This is Gallifrey - Murray Gold
10. Womanizer - Britney Spears

20. Your Dream Wedding
Erm I am going to pass on this.  I am not the marrying type.  I was a lifetime ago but am one of these people that think commitment should be for life not just for the day.

21. Something that stresses you out
Money is alway a big stress in my life.  I'm aaaargh as I think about it so, moving on.

22. 3 Wishes

• To win an unlimted supply of money so elliminate number 21
• To have the power of all 4 of the Charmed Sisters, or that of Samatha Stephens (the witch not the porn star)
• To have a working TARDIS to go back in time and correct past events in my life.

(As you can see all selfish for me.  No world peace for me.  I've seen Utopia!)

23. 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

1. Caught up with good friends
2. Celebrated someones 40's birthday.  Not my own :-)
3. Had 11 consecutive days off work
4. Had 7 consecutive days of warmth and sunshine.
5. Have managed to lose 3kg

BLOG CHALLENGE NUMBER THIRTEEN

Something you’re looking forward to...

I can answer this in a single line.  This weekend I am meeting my friend Greg from Estonia, the adorable Amanda and fabulous Andy for fun, frolics, Doctor Who and double entendres.

BLOG CHALLENGE NUMBER TWELVE

Dream House

I've always wanted to live in a quiet house, cut off from civilization in the middle of no where.  The kind of house Jane Marple would go to investigate a murder.  I really like the 'country life' as I guess that is how I was brought up.  Small village an hour from the nearest BIG city.  Unfortunately, Dunblane is no longer a small peaceful village due to the horrible events of 1996.  I think this is why I want a 'hermit life'.  It turns your world upside down when a killer tutors your little brother in football and used to be your old Scout master.

So here is a picture of somewhere ideal for me

BLOG CHALLENGE NUMBER TEN AND ELEVEN

OK following on from the 64 Question challenge here are today's input.

Something you don’t leave the house without









Well I would love to say key's but I am constantly forgetting these along with my wallet, mobile and underwear. So I am going to go for Shoes/trainers.

Favorite Bible verse 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh how funny, I don't think I have cracked open that book since I was about 9.  For all you deeply religious people I'm dreadfully sorry but its not me.  I don't think God welcomes Homo's very much.  And Jesus said cum onto me, doesn't quite fit.